Spaghetti Eddie -

My Basset Hound of just over ten years of age, died June 26, 2006 and the grief, guilt and incredible shame over it is rearing it's ugly head yet again. Ten years earlier, my Basset Hound rescue, Albert Einstein, died tragically; he was a fifteen month old puppy. I get so sick of the "it was JUST a dog, get over it, get another dog, put your past behind you" crap. I'll spare the details of either one of these horiffic events, suffice to say that sin is the major contributing factor and that it is so difficult to deal with, I cannot get peace about this, can't forgive myself. Some great things happened as a result of Eddie's death - I am no longer a controlling rageaholic, a "condition"(?) that has been a part of my being for over fifty years; I am fifty four. I am also able to forgive others on a level I never thought possible, fear is being eradicated on an amazing scale and I am beginning to sleep a bit better; another amazing thing as I am a lifelong insomniac.

More later ...